Don't follow this yogi

or Music Monday

I'm so Frustrated. This is supposed to be a journey about balance. And I feel even more out of whack than I did before.
And I'm starving. We all know how productive a starving body is. It's not that I'm craving the things I've decided to step away from for 12 weeks. It's just I've run out food options. And it's not like I live in a place conducive to this lifestyle. If I have to eat another bite of yogurt, I will throw up. So I bought avocados and sweet potatoes to spice things up. I wish I was brave enough to try/had a clue what to do with tofu. My body needs the protein it was used to getting in small increments 6 times a day. Now?? Notsomuch.

Also, this one-hour-fourty-five minute drive each way is really getting old. I've becomes an iTunes addict. I think I've gotten four new albums in as many weeks. But I keep blaring 30 Seconds to Mars album THIS IS WAR on repeat. (find it here) (also, watch the brilliance of Jared Leto, Bartholomew Cubbins here) So it's a bit of a waste. Although I am now in super love with Mumford & Sons newest album "Sigh No More." And on that note, I leave you with my favorite track at the moment. Enjoy (you might need to give it a second to load)

Follow the Yogi

If I've ever felt I had something to blog (besides my journey to Boulder) this is it.

My journey to a place of peace within is going to be more difficult than I ever imagined. I am two weeks into a 12-week yoga intensive. This is hard work, y'all. It's an hour and forty five minutes from home, two to three days a week. When I'm done, I will have put in over 200 hours of training.

It requires focus, dedication to myself and the practice, meditation, and abstinence from meat. That's right, I'm not allowed to eat "anything with a face." Well, when she puts it that way. . . . . And the teacher? She's a spunky little thing. Maybe 5'5" rocking a maroon pixie hairstyle with a little blonde in the bangs. She's survived breast cancer and is the coolest Yogini I've ever met. My favorite blurb so far is: "Oh honey, the issue's in the tissue." And it was a response to my struggle with meditation.

First off, I haven't spent twenty minutes to myself in over three years. So sitting quietly, by myself, focusing deeply on my breath is quite a challenge. As in, I break out in hot flashes and get thoroughly beside myself after about 10 minutes. There is some serious will to not open my eyes and scream. But I just breathe through it. . . theoretically.

And the removal of meat from diet is not helping the irritation at all. If not for the fact that my body is starving for protein, I'm doing pretty well. The no coffee bit is way harder than the no meat factor. I had to cut the intake down by a half a cup each day for the first week. I cheat on the coffee more than I do the consumption of "face."

I'm surprising still flexible from all those years and hours of dance. I might still be 50+ lbs heavier than I'd prefer. . . but ya know. It's a process.  I'm hoping the change in diet will help with that problem. Plus, ashtanga yoga is crazy. One hundred and twenty minutes in an 85* room holding all kinds of crazy postures for five breaths can't NOT trick the body into letting go. The fat gets in the way more often than not. I could actually wrap my knees around my ears if the Michelin man would go away from around my torso. There is a skinny girl trapped inside a fat suit just begging to be let out. I want her out there. I need her. She's awake now. And we're working together instead of against each other. It's a really hopeful feeling.

Lots of journaling, lots of reading, lots of study guides to answer, lots of practice, lots of meditation. There is no way I won't come out on the other side a different person.

Let the discovery and transformation begin.